SlutWalk and Sex God

Well, that title should get your attention and keep you reading!

SlutWalk DC 2011 - click to enlarge

I glanced at Facebook just a few minutes ago and saw a post by my college friend, Kristina Korobov. It was of the picture you see here. It struck me as a very poignant statement about the culture in which we’re all struggling along; a culture that causes emotional baggage in all of us. I’m not going to attempt much of a social commentary here because sexuality and objectification of people is far too broad and intricate a subject to deal with fairly in a blog. But my prayer is that you have people in your life with whom you are talking about these things; talking about ways to bless people, talking about how to hurt yourself and others less, talking about guiding people younger than yourself, talking about being guided by wise people older than yourself.

Follow this link to read more about SlutWalk. Even with the many sides of the issue brought to mind by this picture, we can all learn something from this subject. And if you want to read what I consider to be good, Godly wisdom on the subject, then please check on Rob Bell’s Book, Sex God. He talks about the endless links between sexuality and spirituality. It’s worth your money, your time and your consideration.

At the very least today, think about how you value sexuality in your life and how you’re guiding and influencing the people around you. Be intentional in your example, attitude and guidance. The young people in your life will grow up to thank you for helping them have less emotional baggage to take into adulthood.

No Small Redemptions

My connection with Centerville, TN in Hickman County started when I was a teen. A family from my home town of Paoli moved to Centerville, which started a long family friendship with Bill McDonald and his family. In fact, Bill has been one of the strongest influences on my narrative speaking style. During high school, I spent spring breaks in Centerville and made many great friends and memories in that little town. It was and is a good place with good people…

…which makes it interesting to me that it has been the scene of some controversy recently. A student at the county high school recorded 109 students saying two crude words. Now, they aren’t the most crude words that could have been chosen but it’s a bit shocking to hear them repeated 109 times in a row. On the video, some of the students repeat the words with great vim and vigor while others seem almost apathetic in their delivery. But the most striking thing to me was many of the students appeared reluctant to comply with the request to say the words. Yet, they did what they were told. I’ve attached the video in case you would like to see it. Watch at your own discretion.

As with any devaluing situation such as this, there is opportunity for redemption. And the opportunity was taken up by Chris Webb, youth minister at the Centerville Church of Christ. I assume the crude video would be more disturbing if I knew those teens personally. I also assume that the redemptive video would be more stirring if I knew those people personally. But even without the personal connection, the whole situation becomes a moving attempt at redemption. I’ll let you watch the video they created and you can judge the redemptive act for yourself.

But please, at least, let this video be a reminder that there are no small redemptions. Your actions and words, no matter how small they seem, can redeem situations, relationships and attitudes. And Christ has set the example and called us to redeem. So get to it.

More Than Saved

Curt says I like to quote myself and I hate to disappoint him…

Salvation (God’s work) is not the same as discipleship (our work w/ God) so stop working to keep your salvation and get to work blessing people.   -Me, today on Twitter

And if someone has tweeted it, you can be sure that it’s the truth.

Collin at the petting zoo in Disney's Animal Kingdom. I made him pose with this picture because of his constant focus on remaining full.

I grew up worried about salvation. Not so much about being saved by God through Jesus; that seemed fairly straight forward. I was worried about staying saved. And I wasted immeasurable energy over the years working to keep myself righteous and moral enough to remain saved. It’s only been in the last 10 years that I’ve come to the truth that salvation, both then and now and forever, is God’s work alone. I knew it intellectually much longer ago, of course, but in my heart, it’s feels to be a very recent reality.

Now that I’m free from the limitless work of salvation, I’m free to serve people. I don’t have to serve my salvation; I can truly love people as God loves people: with abandon, with extravagant love. I can live as God’s child and not as a groveling slave hoping for just enough of a blessing to live to see another day, not as someone seeking the approval of others; but like Jesus, with Grace and Love and Purpose.

God’s love and grace doesn’t allow me to squeeze into Heaven; God opened the door wide enough to relieve my worries.

My work with God now is to show people that door of hope, to feed hungry people, to talk with lonely people, to embrace cold people, to take unclean hands into mine, to sort through confusion, to lead through the maze of doubts, to speak calmly to the hurting, to speak plainly to the arrogant, to shelter others from the judgmental, and to sit often alone with my Maker to reflect on the purpose of it all.

Eternal God, in Heaven beyond us, help me to be so much more than saved.

Family vs Work: 3 Functional Principles of Intentionality

 

 

at the Louisville Zoo last summer with Nikki

Nikki Arnold needed some thoughts for an observation paper assigned in her Lifespan Development class at Lipscomb. She asked for my thoughts on the subject of balancing family and work. I needed to write my thoughts down to organize them. This are my thoughts as I sent them to Nikki. I thought they could possibly be helpful to others.  

I think an important thing that makes for good parenting when considering work as a major factor is intentionality. The normal work week for my job is manageable but the extra events and circumstances are what could threaten my family. Because of that, those are the types of work/family balancing issues that I’ll talk about. I think there are 3 ways to be intentional when balancing work and family in this way.

The first way to be intentional is to decide upon which principles will you make the decisions of work and family. My guiding principle is that God has gifted me with my children and charged me with their development in a way that I am specifically responsible for the care of their souls. While God has also blessed me with talents and abilities with which to perform work, I don’t think he micro-managed the exact job I have or related events I attend. So while children are a specific, soul-possessing gift from God, my job is really just a generic gift. Therefore I know where my first allegiance must fall: with my children and family. This is not to say that family/children always and automatically win the battle of time or circumstance. But it is to say that I hold every decision on investment of time and energy up to this first principle of specific responsibility.

The second way to be intentional is determine the amount of expected influence. I don’t mean this to sound overly-calculated and cold, but I am a critical thinker by nature. Because of that, when two events or circumstances conflict with one another, I try to decide which to choose based on the amount of influence I expect the circumstance will produce. For example, if I’m asked to be away for a weekend to speak at a youth event out of town, I weigh the amount of influence I think I can have on those teens. If I think it’s an important subject to speak on or an influential event to attend, then I’ll choose to be away from my family for that weekend. If I’m asked to be away from my family but I determine that my presence will not be of much influence, then I’ll decline in order to have the time for family. The basis of this principle is to never make a decision based on ego, self-promotion or personal amusement.

The third principle for me is reinvestment. If I’m planning to be gone for a weekend, I’ll try to spend extra time before and after the event with my family. If I take away some family time for extra work or events, I try to take time back away from work to give back to my family. A terrible mistake any parent can make is to assume that your family should have to continually sacrifice to your job. As a working parent, you must find ways to make your job sacrifice back to your family.

Have a Generous Day

Pappy and Collin walking a trail together at Spring Mill State Park

Yesterday was Easter and much of the world celebrated the Resurrection of Jesus. Although we really celebrate the resurrection each week, we do it in a more focused way on Easter. This reminds me of the new life being created in me and around me each day. Our worship at our church family was also made special because we had Baby Dedication to celebrate new life. We had 11 babies born this year in our church family and we asked God’s blessings on them yesterday. It was a good day.

At the end of worship, a little boy from our church walked up to me. He’s been known as a fairly rambunctious kid in the past but he seems to be calmer and kinder lately. He’s about 9 and usually has hair that looks just a tad disheveled, which gives him that cute, devious appearance. For the past month after worship on Sunday mornings, he’s asked me what he can do to help. I’ve given him a small task each week and have been impressed with his dedication to doing the task well. Yesterday, I asked him to carry the communion tray lids back to the kitchen in the rear of our Family Life Center. He had to make two trips to get them all. When he came back to report in, he said, “I wonder when I’m gonna start getting paid for all this work?”

I’ve chuckled several times about this innocent, childhood comment. But it’s also made me wonder how often we are childish in our expectations. How often do we help others with the intent of really helping ourselves? I’m not accusing you of always having this as a primary, conscious motivation but, if you’re like me, it’s often lurking around as at least a part of my intent. And now I’m wondering when the last situation occurred when I helped someone who was truly of no consequence in my life; a situation where I wouldn’t be noticed doing good and where the person could do absolutely no good back to me.

To add to my thoughts, I found that my friend Kim had written on a subject really close to this on her blog this morning. And she included this quote for meditation:

A truly generous man is he that always gives, whether it be much or little, before he is asked. ~Orchot Tsadiqim

Give this some thought today and find a truly generous thing to do. Just one will do for today. Then another tomorrow. It’ll add up.

Wise Guys (and Girl!)

Geocaching / Hiking at Martin State Forest near the Fire Tower

But yesterday was favorite day of the week so far. Three wise people in my life said things worth recording here in the blog. All of the statements have to do with pondering what’s really important in life. They cause me to ask myself if I’m focusing on temporary things or longer-lasting things. These pieces of wisdom get to the heart of what’s important so don’t miss what’s really being said or asked. I won’t interpret them for you. Ponder and apply as you see fit.

Amanda Brinkman

I had breakfast with Amanda yesterday morning. She’s an impressive young lady with a great mind and focus on helping others. We talked about many important things. The thing that stuck with me was Amanda saying she’d been trying to evaluate how happy she was and what happiness means. She said, “I know I’m happy in the temporary things but I’m thinking more about what happiness means out over time.”

Bryan Edwards

I got to hang out with Bryan and Jake Parsley yesterday evening before youth group. We talked about many issues and ideas in life. Bryan and Jake tend to make people think so I wasn’t surprised at this. Bryan has been challenging my brain for years! He’s very focused on keeping his friendships healthy and is good at investing in people. This trait will be a blessing to people as he follows his plan to be a doctor. As we talked about the new universal health care developments and how they will affect his future profession, he said something insightful and self-aware. Bryan said of the law, “No one called me from Washington to ask my opinion. There must be a reason for that.”

Collin Spear

Collin is special. You’ve probably heard me say that before. I think he’s actually a combination of Luke Burris and Jake Parsley. He’s an intelligent, thoughtful, anxious, engaging, energetic, bright little boy who’s pretty sure he usually has a better plan than you have. Yesterday on our hike at Martin State Forest, Collin fell in the creek and got too muddy to ride home in his clothes. So he stripped down to his underwear and strapped into his car seat. On the way back to Mitchell, we pulled into the tiny town of Huron to get gas at their one gas station. Since Collin is a 1st grader and a good reader now, he loves to read signs. He looked up at the door into the gas station and said, “Look at that sign. It says ‘No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service’ but I think I’d care more about pants.”

Daily Thanks – 3/23/2010

Today I’m thankful that….

• I’m home for a few days this week enjoying spring break with my family.
• We took a day trip to Clarksville to do some geocachng and visit Bass Pro Shop. Matthew, Kortni and Owen met us there. On Tuesdays and Thursdays at 4:00 p.m., the bass pro people do a fishing demonstration in the huge fish tank and then feed the fish. It’s worth going to see. Elsa made me hold her “in case one of the fishies are hurt being caught and I be scared.”
• We all went out for dinner at Famous Dave’s, which proved to be a surprisingly easy place at which to eat fairly healthy according to my WW points. Make sure to use the Devil Spit sauce while there. It’s not really all that hot but it’s tasty.
• Our three kids are good travelers; even Baby Jude hardly fussed in the car.
• I’ve been pricing subcompact pistols to add one to my small collection and made my purchase today: Ruger LCP .380 from Harder’s Gun Shop in Shoals. I drove over tonight after checking prices at several places. Harder’s had the best price by far.
• I’ve started Collin on his gun safety training and he’s very serious about it. He’s using his airsoft gun to practice unloading by removing the clip and clearing the chamber. It’s kinda cute and, at the same time, it’s a little scary since his airsoft gun is made to look exactly like a 9mm. In fact, it fits perfectly into my 9mm’s holster.
• We watched The Princess and the Frog several times the past few days since we rented it from Redbox. At the risk of sounding like a 4-year-old girl or a 40-year-old creepster, I’ll say I think it’s the best movie Disney has turned out in a while. It had great characters and even better music. The score captures the wide range of music that makes up New Orleans culture and history.
• God has blessed me with a wife that makes me laugh, think and be glad I’m married.

Join me in Daily Thanks by leaving your thanks in the comment box below or start a Daily Thanks list of your own!

Been Rich All My Life

Join the Silver Belles, a group of five former Harlem showgirls now aged 84 to 96, as they continue to entertain in this documentary by Heather MacDonald. From dancing together in the hottest venues such as the Cotton Club to performing with world-renowned bandleaders Cab Calloway and Duke Ellington, the gallivanting gals were the toast of the town during the 1930s; in 1985, they renounced retirement and reunited to grace the stage once again.

I’ll give this documentary 3 out of 5 stars. Netflix guessed that I’d rate it at 4.2 stars so they missed by a bit. Michelle fell asleep half way through it. I’m not sure whether she slept through it  from boredom or from being a busy mother of 3 children. Either way, it wasn’t engaging enough to keep her awake. Michelle did make one good observation before she dozed off. She said it’s neat to watch these older ladies enjoying the world in new, exciting ways and seeing it with fresh eyes. It really may be worth watching just for that perspective.

“Seventy years later, sassy as they ever were,” says the movie’s website. On the website, click the story link to read more about the Silver Bells. Here’s an excerpt.

The film is lively and humor-filled, sparkling with the verve and candor of these inspiring women. We follow them from their rehearsals at the Cotton Club, to their shows — and over the bumps in between. They perform to standing ovations at concert halls around the city, working with dancers some 60 years younger.  We enjoy their weekly rehearsals, their love of their craft, the music, and the laughter and arguments of a friendship that has continued for over 70 years. 

This documentary is worth renting on Netflix but probably isn’t worth purchasing. All in all, it was a neat story of staying young and enjoying the final season of life, which is a good lesson for all of us.

Lunch with Collin

Collin taking a coordinate reading on the DeLorme PN-40

It was a beautiful day here in southern Indiana. I wanted to use my lunch time to place a new geocache so I called the elementary school to spring Collin for his lunch hour too! I picked him up as a surprise and he was really excited. Michelle made lunch for us and left it on the porch in a Transformers lunch box: yummy peanut butter and banana wraps!

We headed out to rural Lawrence County to Twin Bridge Road, which is just a bit northwest from Blue Bird Pie Road. I’m not making this stuff up.

Out on Twin Bridge Road, there are…you guessed it…two bridges. They’re not identical but they’re both old and only about 100 yards apart. The road is just wide enough for one vehicle and the need for two bridges is due to the fact that the creek doubles back on itself. It’s a beautiful, out-of-the-way spot for a geocache. If you’re a cacher, follow this link to see the listing.

Here’s part of the conversation on the drive out to the bridges…

Collin:  Daddy, thanks for getting me for lunch.

Me:   Collin, I like to come get you for lunch.

Collin:  And thanks for spending time with me.

Me:   Collin, I love to spend time with you because you’re my little boy and it’s important to spend time with people you love.

Collin:  Why is spending time so important?

Me:  Because you know I love you when I spend time with you. You know you’re more important than other things I could be doing. And it’s so you know to spend time with your little boy someday when you have one.

Collin:  But I may not have a little boy.

Me:  Well, your little girl then.

Collin:  I may not have any kids.

Me:  Most people have kids so you probably will too.

Collin:  Daddy, you don’t know the future or what I’ll do in the future.

Me:  This is true.

Collin:  I might not have kids. God might want me to and he might not want me to. He could have all kinds of things for me to do.

Me:  That’s true and it’s important to keep God in mind.

Collin: Plus, having kids means I ‘d have to like a girl and do that kissing stuff.

(Silence for reflection by both of us)

The Amish: A People of Preservation

click to enlarge

I’ve lived near Amish folks all my life here in southern Indiana. I’ve always been fascinated with them. In the past year or so, I’ve become friends with Big Sam, a well-known, local Amish farmer. I’ve always wanted an Amish friend and now I have one. Well, we’re not that close yet but I’ve got time!

This documentary was a neat little find on Netflix. I rated it at 4 out of 5 stars. It had good insight and interesting information but some of the footage was fairly old. The script was strong enough to carry the weak video footage. But the scenes of the barn raising alone make the movie worth watching!

Here’s what Netflix has to say:

This PBS documentary follows life in Amish country, where folks give up convenience and technological advancements in exchange for simple living, out of loyalty to their longstanding beliefs. With insight from Mennonite historian John Ruth and Dr. John A. Hostetler (author of Amish Society), learn how the Amish continue to thrive, and even grow in numbers, amidst the ever-changing world around them.