Take Pause

 by Gary

When I logged onto facebook last night, I saw a status update from my friend Danny Payton from Paoli.

His status simply read: “Dad died 7 years ago today. Miss him.”

Not many things these days make me sit in silence and stare. This did. I read it over and over and over. I looked it without reading it for minutes. It made me take pause.

Dad and I have watched many sunrises together fishing on Patoka Lake

Dad and I have watched many sunrises together fishing on Patoka Lake

I’ve been trying to be more thankful lately. This made me thankful: thankful that my dad is still alive. I don’t have to miss him. My dad is a good man and he was and is a good dad. I would trade him for no one. And I hope one day to be as good a man as he has been. I just needed to say that out loud; to take pause and say that out loud.

Many people commented on Danny’s post. I hope a few of them will allow me the license to quote them here just as they responded to Danny:

Vickie Kirkman…July is a bad month for me too, Danny. Daddy died on July 24th of 1998 and Mom died on July 15 of 2001. I still get the urge to call them. I guess we never stop missing them

Patricia Adams…Sorry, you will always miss your parents when they are gone. I still miss my Dad and its been 40 years

Mary Sage Rutledge…I still really miss my Mom and dad too and I really miss Mike so much every single day!!!I is just so hard to lose the ones we love.My thoughts and prayers are with you today.

Sue Oakley…Same here Danny. It’s tuff. I still really miss my parents. Praying for you today.

I wrote to Danny also…”Danny, you posting this thought made me take pause and be thankful I still have my dad and mom. Take heart that your memories have made someone else thankful. And thanks for blessing all of us by sharing.”

Now, for the rest of you. Do you need to take pause and remember someone? If you do, how about working up the courage, like Danny, to remember them out loud. It’ll bless you and others. Or do you need to take pause and be thankful you can still call, visit and hug your parents? How about working up the courage to tell them you’re thankful for who they are. And leave a comment here or somewhere letting us share in how you’re feeling about parents or loved ones that are gone or that you still have. It’ll bless us all to hear about your journey.

Take pause.



Filed under New Thoughts

17 responses to “Take Pause

  1. dudethatscrazy

    My uncle died on Christmas morning 5 years ago this Christmas. In many ways he was the center of our gatherings – he brought so much life to the table. I wrote about him in my blog – Definitely should have got a new couch is the title of it. He didn’t have any children of his own, so I was one of his kids, and to me he was the greatest uncle dad in the world.

    • Jennifer –

      I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose someone on Christmas morning! Has it changed your family’s Christmas gatherings or traditions at all?

      I’ll make sure to go read your blog about it.

  2. DeAnne

    Recently I opened a Bible that I have had for years, but have since acquired a different one that I use more often. In the front of that Bible was a prayer I wrote on one of the nites I was sitting with my grandmother in the hospital almost 10 yrs ago. She was restless and hallucinating about “cats on the ceiling”…it was a difficult nite. In this prayer in the wee hours of the morning, I prayed for peace for her so she could sleep–she was my very best friend in the world and I hated seeing her so restless. Within moments of finishing my prayer, she settled down and was quietly snoring. I almost jumped out of my chair, but knew that it might wake her. Seeing that prayer written in that Bible caused me to take pause and remember that God really does hear and answer our prayers. She died a few months after that nite. I miss her but am thankful for having such a good, loving relationship with her. She was and still is my angel.

    • DeAnne –

      This was a really touching story and I think it will hit home with a lot of people who have sat praying by bedsides. And it was a great reminder of prayer. We all need that.

      Thanks for sharing!

  3. Chris Wood

    Something interesting to me…

    I lost my mom a few years ago suddenly and unexpectedly. I lost my dad just recently and it was fairly expected.

    I grieved for both of their losses. But, since I was somewhat prepared for dad’s passing, the grief wasn’t as severe.

    But, here is the interesting part. A friend of mine just lost his dad and a different friend lost his son. I was not close to either of the deceased. I knew them, but we were not close. Both of their passings caused me to “take pause” and actually, bothered me more than that of my dad’s.

    So Professor Spear…Any secret revelations into my psyche?

    • Chris Wood, why do you persist in life to always ask questions I can’t answer!!

      On your dad, which we obviously have talked about in person, I think it was such a great relief of suffering, for him and for you, that it changed your grief. But applying that to your friends’ losses is interesting.

      We could just say that you care about other people more than yourself, which may be true about you! But it may be more than that. On your friend who lost his son, I’d say much of your grief from him is a projection of what your grief would be if you lost Peyton or Carter. You’re probably aware of that.

      But the thing on your grief for your friend losing his dad is probably multi-faceted. It may mostly be triggered by how similar or dis-similar your friend’s situation was to your lose of your dad.

      What do you think?

      • Chris Wood

        Spear, I have told you this before. You have all the answers!

        Maybe the simplest answer is that I’m screwed up in the head…but we both already knew that! Ha!

      • The real answer is that we’re both screwed up in the head and that both of us added together come up with one full brain!

  4. ~Gary~
    A few years ago I lost a friend to a drug overdose. It was the worst day of my life. He treated me so well. And I will never forget him. This really opened up my eyes to see that anything can happen, you can die from anything. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t think about him and miss him…The fact that my gradmaw had to wake up and find him dead is the worst part. I could never wish that for somebody..

    • Bethany –

      Thanks for sharing this story. You can tell you’ve really felt deeply about it.

      • Gary-
        I’ve had a lot of bad relationships with guys. And I still to this day have problems trusting guys. Just because of what one person did to me. And, it makes it hard for me to interact with my Dad now…Because one Guy hurt me over and over. Now I feel I can barely trust my own dad…And, he has done nothing to me…I love my dad but I have a hard time showing my love to him because of the past..

  5. Katie the Canadian

    I have to say that I am thankful that I still have my mom. My dad on the other hand… I don’t even know if he is alive or not and that to me is more horrible than if I were to get a call saying he was dead, at least then I would know. My father was not a good person, though good did come out of him in my siblings and I, I only wish he could have been the father I needed growing up rather than being the man he was and my greatest hope now is that in the intervening years he has found Christ because if he has, then even though I did not know him in this life, I’d get to spend eternity with him.

    • Katie –

      You never cease to surprise me in how brave you are in sharing your life. God has given you a gift to help other people by sharing your life with them and you use that gift well!!

      I’m glad you’re my friend!

  6. Danny Payton

    I posted a comment on July 28th, that my Dad died 7 years ago today, and I miss him. On another note, I went to a Christmas concert last year, featuring the Gospel group, the Sonshiners Quartet. During a segment of the show, each one commented on their favorite Christmas of all. As they were commenting, I was thinking to myself the best Christmas of all for me. That would have to be December 25th, 1981. That is the day my mother went to meet the Lord. Sad day for me, but a wonderful day in heaven for eternity for her.

    • Danny, thanks for coming by to comment on the blog. Your post on facebook about your dad inspired me to write this post and it’s been the most read post I’ve ever put on this blog. It’s been read by about 600 people already and commented on by several. Thanks for starting it all with remembering your dad!

  7. Tracy Cook

    I have to say that this was a real eye opener. I read it to my mom while I was on the phone with her and just broke down in tears. I am even in tears as I type this. We do take our loved ones for granted and I just want to say I appreciate you posting this and to tell my dad and mom, Danny and Janice Payton, that I love them very much!!!

    • Tracy, another life-long friend of mine –

      I’m glad the post touched you. It really was all inspired by Danny. Thanks for stopping in to read it and comment. You’re a good friend and daughter!

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