Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. –Psalm 127: 3
One of the things that I’m going to work on this year is doing some true blogging. When I post to this blog, I always feel like I need to write a perfect story with well thought and detailed points, which will lead people to life changing thoughts of their own. But I want to write more about what I’m thinking day to day, which is dangerous because it will cause me to share what I’m thinking about in its unrefined state. This may be a good thing as it will cause you to think more with me instead of me trying to convince you what to think. So in the spirit of truly blogging about my life, I’ll start with my son’s birthday.
At 6:46 p.m. today, Collin will turn 6. He’s an amazing little guy who puts on his little, gray tennis shoes and heads off to Kindergarten every weekday morning. This morning, Michelle fixed him breakfast in bed: egg & bacon wraps with a cool, fruit smoothie that he loves. He ate off the special, family birthday plate that we all use on our birthdays. He sat on his bed in his little Ratatouille pajamas and ate and talked and laughed.
I sat on the edge of the bed; pondering where six years went. In some ways it seems like we’ve always had Collin. In other ways it seems like only two weeks ago that I stood over that crib in the hospital praying over my first-born. And now I’m faced with the fact that Collin has lived with me for 1/3 of the time he’ll be truly in my care. At 18, he’ll leave for college and be out of my daily care. This is distressing and the kind of realization that makes you want to hold on too tight.
So that’ my day. Pondering my purpose in all of it: prepare him, pray for him, train him, love him, invest in him, inspire him, guide him, correct him, enjoy him. All this just to release him. I’m not sure how to feel about that. God has grand ways. Ways beyond my understand of what’s best. Eternal ways. Some I like and some I don’t like. And that’s okay. Strangely, that’s okay, because Collin is my heritage; a gift to be given over to humanity. Not a possession to be selfishly held.